Preparing Kids To Move Out

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kids moving outWait.  Did you read that title right?  Am I really talking about preparing KIDS to move out??  You bet I am!  Please don’t misunderstand or judge me.  If you know me in real life then you know that I love my kids more than I love wine!  So – why would I prepare them to move out when they are kids??

Our son was beginning high school and our daughter was still in middle school.  I don’t remember exactly when this happened but I know it was a day of  “clean your room” battles and it was epic.  Screaming, throwing fits, crying – that was just me!  I finally raised the white flag and gave up.  It was easier to just shut the bedrooms doors and pretend their rooms looked like the kids rooms on the Brady Brunch.  

I liked living in that dream world.  Everything was perfectly placed, dusted and the kids were happy, played well together and I had a live in housekeeper…  Wow.  Television when I was growing up really set me up for disappointment didn’t it??

Anyway back to reality…  Eventually I had to open their doors and look in their rooms to get them for dinner, wake them up in the mornings, and other mom things.  Our compromise was for them to have a path to their bed so if the house ever caught fire the first responders wouldn’t trip and die in the blaze trying to save them.  

When I recovered from my loss of the “clean your room” battle – I read about some smart mom somewhere who actually had her kids pack up their things themselves; sort of in preparation for her kids to move out.  I wondered why all parents everywhere aren’t doing this starting at age 5?!  I might be in the minority here but I look forward to my kids growing up and moving out.  Not in the sense that I don’t love them and don’t want to spend time with them.  I truly enjoy watching them grow and become responsible teens & young adults.  Watching them find their path in life is amazing to watch however they can’t live with us forever if they want to find their own path.  This is where the preparation to move out comes in.  

It started with buying 2 storage bins for each kid and asking them to put everything they wanted to keep forever in the bins and then find room in their closets to keep the bins.  That way they knew where their treasures were and that I would not donate them or throw them out.  I gave them power of what they could keep forever.  When they were done I bought a couple more bins for each again and went let them go through the process again.

Miracles started happening!!  The kids saved everything at first.  Then over time when they remembered something they wanted out of a bin; when they got another look at what they were saving – they went through the bin again and got rid of stuff.  Seriously friends – it was a true miracle.  There were no arguments, just trash bags full of crap they wanted to get rid of themselves.  

By the time our son moved out he had been through his stuff many times and saved his most treasured items.  All but 2 bins went with him.  It was so easy to move him out – not in the emotional sense – but the majority of his stuff was in bins and ready to go.  See what I did there?  Not only was his room relatively organized most day but his stuff was already packed with what was most important to him.  

Using this “bin method” has helped our children learn what is really important to them, as well as organizational skills.  Seems like a great win-win situation to me.  Don’t be afraid to do this with your own kids.  Preparing kids to move out is part of your job as a parent – and you’re already a great parent – keep up the good work!