Motherhood and Mom guilt go hand-in-hand. Am I right? You can’t have one without the other. When you become a Mom you’re filled with overwhelming feelings of gratitude and thankfulness for being blessed with this life, but the Mom guilt is never far behind. They say children are a lot more resilient than we think, and I sure hope that’s true because this mama has to ask for forgiveness a lot these days 😉
I’ll never forget a specific day when my daughter (now 6) was 3 years old. We were in the transition to her soon becoming a big sister and all the excitement that came along with it, but also feeling all the mom guilt for adding someone else into our family. How dare I want to give my child a sibling!
Would she know I still loved her? Would she feel replaced?
We had been through a whirlwind of a year with our adoption process, and I was worried she wouldn’t understand everything since it wasn’t something she could “see” yet. Long nights of paperwork, lots of doctors appointments, phone calls and Home Study visits. I just knew I hadn’t focused on her enough leading up to her new role of “big sister” and there it was — mom guilt.
After a hard day with a threenager, this load of mom guilt gave me all. the. feels. “I didn’t kiss her enough today. She’s going to forget I love her. She’s going to think I love the new baby more. I yelled at her too much. Why did I tell her no so many times?”
Laying in the bed with my baby girl only a few days before we would take a two day trek to meet her new baby brother, I just knew I had ruined her. Worst. Mom. Ever. There it is again.. that mom guilt. (Can you leave me alone, already!?) I looked over to my girl with tears in my eyes ready to apologize for all the things. Before I could say anything, she grabbed my hand and put in on her little face and said “You my best guhl, mama. I yuh you.” [translation: You’re my best girl, Mama. I love you.]
She didn’t remind me of all of the not-so-good parts of the day. But she did remind me of the most important part. And at least for today, that was enough to wipe my mom guilt away.
You’re her best girl, Mama. And she still loves you.