Passionate About the Community
and the Moms Who Live Here

To Be Her Mother AND Her Friend

She catches me looking at her,  gives a little eye roll and says “what are you looking at mom, quit looking at me”.  It’s annoying to her, but I hope one day she will understand the gaze. I see her growing up so fast. She is funny, smart, super witty, giving, and she’s so good at reading people. She tends to be shy until she knows you, but makes friends so easily. 

MOTHER / noun / A female parent. Something or someone that gives rise to or exercises protecting care over something else; origin or source.

Mom and daughter on the beach

Never did I see my own physical features as “beautiful” until I started seeing them in her.  The little bump in her nose, the shape of her teeth, the little moles she is getting just like I have, her baby fine dirty blond hair (makes me wish I hadn’t distroyed mine early on in life) and the inner beauty I see developing in her as she gets older. “You’re only 10!” I tease because she doesn’t act like I remember 10 year olds acting when I was that age. 

I sit and watch her play with baby dolls one minute and then putting on makeup and doing her nails the next minute or looking up DIYs on youtube.  She’s at that age where she wants to be grown up and other times she wants to be my little girl. She gets emotional and as her personality develops we bump heads more and more. I know every momma can relate to some head butting with their kids. I want only to protect her. I want the best for her. I wear that Mom title like a badge of honor. 

FRIEND /noun/  A person whom one knows and with whom one has a bond of mutual affection. A person attached to another by feelings of affection or personal regard.

Of course I’m her mom first, but I want to be her friend too.  I  want her to grow up and feel like she can come to me with every little thing, big or small, funny or scary. I want her to choose all her friends wisely as with every relationship she builds. I want her to pick friends who have her best intrest at heart and be truthful. 

 There is this fine line between parenthood and friendship, and I’m still learning how to walk it. I will be her mom first and let her know that there are consequences to her decisions in life. Not simply because I’m the mom, but to teach her how to face adversity and to have accountability for her decisions.

The mom in me wants to teach her responsibility; to think before she acts and to know that when she makes a mistake she needs to own it no matter the consequences. The friend in me wants her to know it’s ok to make those mistakes, and that she can always come to me for advice, love,  and a shoulder to cry on.

I know some parents don’t agree with being a child’s “friend” but when I reflect on my own friendships, the best ones aren’t the friends who let me get away with anything. The best friends are the ones who really know me, who believe in me, and hold me accountable. This is the kind of friend I want to be to my daughter. 

I see the best in her, and usually she does in me as well. Though there are tough days, and lessons for us both to learn, doesn’t seeing someone else like that automatically make you a friend? Not a best friend like BFF, but BEST friend as in highest quality, excellent. Steady, dependable, forgiving, loving…In that respect, I truly hope she does count me among her best friends. 

Now is the beginning of huge growth in her life and I see it.  We currently homeschool and next school year she will go into public school. I’m know this is why it’s on my heart to share this…..writing and sharing with all you mommas helps me to go over my own thoughts and actions and reflect on the past and look to the future. As parents we want to do the right thing but what is the right thing?  We did not get a manual to guide us through this journey of parenthood. The right thing is what you decide you’re going to do, and is different for each of us. God gave her to me, He has a plan, and trusted me to be her mother AND her friend; to show her what it means to have a mom who will nurture, teach, and discipline, but also a best friend that will be by her side through thick and thin. 

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